Hello, world. odsgndkjlfgj I meant to post last week before 5.03 to keep up my promise to post more, but I didn't. This getting back into the posting groove thing is hard! I will do it in numbered steps for easy access. And how we all love easy access...

1) COME PARTICIPATE IN spn_j2_xmas, EVERYONE! I have been meaning to pimp this for a while, but no posting = no pimping! Anyway, I am helping to mod it this year, so come sign up and give me lots of work to do <333! I hope we can beat last year's number! That would be awesome! I know it's hard to think up prompts, but remember, if you can't think of anything specific you want, you don't have to make prompts! You can just talk about the general things you like and dislike and the person writing your gift could surprise you. As Colin Ford would say on his twitter, fun fun!

2) Speaking of Colin Ford's Twitter! AMAZING. He is so adorable I am possibly going to explode. Also he posted ( this amazing picture ) which I have seen around. OH MAN. MAKES MY TEETH HURT! :D!

3) I want to rec an AMAZING SAM/DEAN VID I saw recently! In Your Room, by bionic, to the song by Depeche Mode. Really well edited, I thought, plus I really love the song and it worked well and had a great mood.

4) I have gotten a bunch of STUFF lately! I am sure you care deeply, but I feel like taking pictures anyway. I also did that HANDWRITING MEME, crazy I know! I never do memes ever! But I got tagged and I felt like it, so. :D!

( Writing and purses and earrings and a book! )

5) Posting that picture of my earrings (earring, really...) reminds me that I AM SO FED UP WITH MY HAIR. I have been meaning to dye it for MONTHS now, but I have not had the cash to get it done professionally, and I am scared of doing it myself. Plus it was super-short and now I am DYING for it to be long again, so it is in that horrible shapeless awkward mid-length stage that I HATE. UGH SO FRUSTRATED WITH IT. FUCK OFF, HAIR.

6) I am also frustrated and annoyed at my roommates yet again. >:( There is this creepy old guy who lives in my basement, and I have to go down there to do my laundry. That's annoying because it means I can't do my laundry at 3 AM when I most enjoy doing it, but it also means I have to see the creepy old guy when I do go down there. And I CAUGHT HIM SMOKING DOWN THERE THE OTHER DAY!!!! Which explains why sometimes my room suddenly FILLS with the smell of cigarette smoke at random times of the day. I think it's because Frank-in-the-basement lights up down there and then it goes up the vents straight into my room. DO. NOT. WANT. I am totally cool with him smoking outside, we even have a patio thingy he could use! But there are no smoking signs ALL OVER THIS HOUSE, the owner specifically says we are not to smoke inside, and I don't think it's fair that when he disobeys, I am the one who suffers. D: I am so not into confrontation, though. I am scared to tell him I know he's smoking when he isn't supposed to.

7) Also in RL news, I found a whole stack of old Pokemon card theme decks when I was moving. I KNOW, I KNOW, I WAS A COMPLETE AND UTTER UNBEARABLE DORK AS A CHILD! ("Only as a child?" I hear you say...) However, it is going to SERVE ME WELL. Because I looked them up online and EACH BOX GOES FOR $80 NOW!! Apparently I have a really rare run of cards because I bought them right when they first came out a billion years ago. :O! EXCITING! So now I have to figure out how to use Ebay so I can sell them and get that money. Oh man, I have FIVE DECKS OF THEM, so that is a nice chunk of change! \o/! I also have some nice unused sheet sets still in the packages I can sell, and an old duvet and stuff. Who knows when I will actually find the time to get this stuff sold, though.

8) I went to a play party with nicotinedesire last weekend that I really want to make a post about! I think I may do that. It was REALLY INTERESTING. I am looking forward to going to another one and getting to know the people in the DC scene. :D! I enjoyed myself immensely even though I was mostly just wandering around staring at people. I also did a lot of thinking about fic and blindfold_spn. HAH.

9) I have trypophobia to some degree (I am disgusted by clusters of holes!), and the other day I saw ( this picture )
on my flist and OH GOD IT MADE MY SCALP TINGLE SO BAD. :(( I know it's just a necklace but IT LOOKS LIKE HOLES IN HER FLESH, OKAY? The whole point of the ad is totally lost on me because all I can think about is how much it reminds me of (DON'T CLICK THIS LINK, IT IS DISGUSTING) Lotus Breast and how SCARRED FOR LIFE I was by that. UGH I AM SHIVERY ALL OVER RIGHT NOW BLECK BLECK BLECK GROSSSSSS.

10) To end on a POSITIVE NOTE: OH MY GOD I KNOW EVERYONE HAS SAID IT ALREADY BUT I FUCKING LOVE GLEE!!! SO AMAZING. I can't even pick out my favourite character because I love them all so much. KURT MADE ME CRY A LOT. *_*! Also oadisngskfhd Zachariah basically being Zachariah on it sdoihndfkh was pretty bad-ass. :D!

SO HOLY CRAP. I do not think I have mentioned this yet but MY BIG BANG POSTING DATE IS THE EIGHTH OF JUNE. As in, THE VERY FIRST DAY! Which is amazing because it means I can get it done and dusted and concentrate on a) life and b) betaing for other people, but like. HOLY SHIT THAT IS 11 DAYS AWAY. I am working my poor typey fingers to the bone. And also completely neglecting my real work that I should be doing. Writing fic on my office computer is probably not such a hot idea. I decided to leave the porn editing and insertion (ahaha) for last for this reason, ahaha :/ WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO GET THIS OUT. Why. :( As Dorothy Parker said (and someone on my flist recently quoted), "I hate writing. I like having written." AMEN, DOROTHY. AMEN.

ANYWAY. Speaking of the office! I recently got a new sort of part-time placement at a Planned Parenthood teen center out in Ward 7. I am super happy about it, and I really love the kids I've met there so far, and I am psyched to do all the clinical stuff I'll get to do with the health center connected to the program center. I wish I could just work there completely and ignore the lame other job that is boring and no good 90% of the time, but hey, I gotta do what Americorps tells me. APPARENTLY Americorps has some sort of stipulation where you cannot be involved with anything related to abortion services, including referrals and pre- and post-abortion counseling, which I think is the most dumbfuck regulation EVER, because Americorps is a federal program, and abortion is LEGAL, so. Why the hell would we not be allowed to be involved in even COUNSELING? Like. That is ridiculous. So I am just going to do it anyway, because I am working at a fucking PLANNED PARENTHOOD and if one of my girls asks me about it, I'm not going to say SORRY, BABE, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THAT CRAP! I'm just not. That is wrong in every way. Ugh, life.

At least my Americorps co-workers are awesome people. The one dude (We use to have more! What happened to them all?) had a Memorial Day BBQ at his place in NE, and though I got stalked by a gross loser in an SUV who shouted at me the whole walk there from the metro, I had an AWESOME TIME and did things I really should not have done and sent about a billion unintelligible texts. At some point I am going to need to rewatch Pineapple Express, because I have no idea WTF happened in it, though I technically saw the whole thing, and also I was convinced Alona Tal was in it at the time, which of course she was not.

Also work-related, I am going on a big ol' trip to Georgia and Louisiana with my kids! It is all-inclusive since it's for work, which is nice, and also I'll be getting OVER THREE WEEKS worth of service hours. PLUS I think it may even be fun, as long as the kids don't get too crazy. Although it will be sweltering, I'm sure. Mostly I am just happy about the hours and the free food. I expect lots of texts and emails to entertain me while I am computer-less. I WILL HAVE MY PHONE! :D! YOU WILL HAVE TO TELL ME IF JARED AND JENSEN GET MARRIED WHEN I AM NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

Unrelatedly! As he and his impact on Sam and Dean and SPN as a whole are being discussed frequently on my flist these days, can I just say: this is always how I will think of Castiel. Always. I'm sorry, I just. I CAN SEE FOREVER. It looks exactly like him sodginsdogin :3 Don't deny. N'aww, Cass. I have thought this from his very first appearance. KITTYFACE.

Also unrelatedly, I have yet to see the new Terminator, which is VERY BAD OF ME, because sodignsodn my man Christian!! I am usually the FIRST IN LINE to see new Bale movies! But I haven't seen any of the other Terminators, so. I want to watch those first. I never had a desire to see them, but I am willing to sit through them to be rewarded with Christian Bale at the end. Also, LOLZ MCG. He has his hands in all my favourite pots. Supernatural! Christian Bale! SPRING AWAKENING, APPARENTLY! N'aww, McG. You are precious. And also EVIL in my Hercules AU which has yet to be finished. That comes next after Big Bang.

But anyway, on the topic of PRECIOUS. I have been GORGING myself on Dean Forester lately. Not that I ever DON'T, but. sadcypress and I finished season 3 of Gilmore Girls and started season 4. DEAN. DEEEEEAN. And then I came home and read two AWESOME Dean Forester fics.

1) The Last of the True Romantics, by rudhampaiel. I am glad I read this even though the fact that it is called almost the exact same thing as a fic of mine almost put me off, ahaha. MAN IT IS AMAZING. Dean/Rory, with SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL DEAN LIFE AND SOUL AND CHARACTER. He deserves to be his own person, you know? To have his own life and be proud of himself and happy in who he is. And this fic GIVES THAT TO HIM. And Rory REALIZING what she WANTS and just sodignkerhofignkhlfghs oh my god this was just delicious and awkward in a perfect way. SIGH. *_*!

2) Everybody Loves a Happy Ending, by backinblack. Dean/Priestly. I MEAN REALLY. WHERE COULD THIS POSSIBLY GO WRONG. Hilarious and casutic and snarky but secretly sweet and schmoopy. Sexy and awesome. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. You don't have to know anything about Gilmore Girls or Ten Inch Hero to love it, either. :D!

Lastly, oh man, the costume chick on Gilmore Girls must've been on crack:

( LOOK AT THIS TRAVESTY! )

So yeah. That's it. Asylum this weekend! I am excited for reports!

NO NEW SPN. :( Weep. What a sad state of affairs. I find it so amusing that it had to end just when I started really enjoying it this season. Which seems odd, because I definitely remember making happy post-episode squee posts! But just overall I have such a sense of ennui from this season, right up until 21 and 22. It definitely merits a good long marathon rewatch. A lot usually comes out in the wash, looking at it as a big picture like that. ANWAY. I have some random crap to talk about. Like how I MISSED MY EIGHTH LJ-VERSARY. :( I was going to revamp my whole LJ and make it awesome and everything, too. Oh well. Some other time I guess. :/ ON TO THE OTHER RANDOM CRAP:

a) A friend of mine from high school is famous for being a geek. This is not in any way surprising. :D! I went to a geek high school. I bet like half of my graduating class facebook'd her after seeing that news story and asked her for more info about where to get the parts to make their own closet labs.

b) ( Speaking of high school! GLEE!! )

c) I got a haircut a couple weeks ago! And I totally forgot to mention it or picspam or anything. It was dyed super darkest black, but it was growing out so much my roots were just ridiculous. I decided I really wanted to go BLONDE. But of course since my hair was dyed soooo black it was gonna be hard. I didn't want to strip it and totally ruin it, so I went with cutting out as much of the black as possible (IT IS SO FREAKING SHORT NOW. THE LAST TIME IT WAS THIS SHORT, MY AGE WAS A SINGLE DIGIT), then getting all-over highlights to try and lighten the black and then died the roots darker brown so it didn't look blonde on top and dark on the bottom. WHATEVER POINT IS: it was hugely expensive and I think it only looks mediocre. But I was pretty much planning on that. This is just the middle stage before I can go blonde. :D!

( I am sure you do not care about ANY OF THAT, so here is a pic. )

d) THIS is BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING and entertained me for way, way too long.

e) I am in DIRE, DESPERATE NEED of an all-encompassing Ruby vid to Poker Face by Lady Gaga. DIRE. NEED. I heard it properly for the first time a couple days before the finale and was like OH MAN. AMAZING. I seriously instantly thought of Ruby and Sam. And it is EVEN MORE AMAZING after the finale. I want a retrospective of all of season four (and even season three) Ruby and her MANIPULATIONS! GOD. IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT AND COULD BE SO SHARP AND LIVELY AND AWESOMMMMME. For anyone who doesn't know the song:



It will be stuck in your head forever. :( (THERE ARE GREAT DANES IN THAT MUSIC VIDEO! AUTOMATICALLY BEST EVER! *_*)

GOD I WISH I COULD VID.

f) Simple Pleasures, by destina, is like. The sweetest, most amazing, yet REAL first-time J-squared I've read in a long time. It made me all sigh-y and chest clench-y. PERFECT.

g) CANNOT WAIT FOR THE SHERLOCK MOVIE. CANNOT.

I GIVE UP. There is no possible way I can finish the enormous, sprawling, angsty, fucked-up pornfest that I was planning to write for Big Bang. No possible way. I have like 5,000 words and only 5 days to finish it, and it's really really difficult for me to write. So I don't see that happening. (Not to mention the fact that I have a whopping 500 words of my j2_everafter fic and that is due first.) I AM JUST GOING TO FINISH MY SPLASH AU FOR BIG BANG INSTEAD. Sigh. I am defeated. :( Even though sadcypress tried to motivate me with the best motivator ever, today: "WRITE LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER WRITTEN BEFORE!  Write like DEAN FORESTER is waiting on you to finish before he can come in and hang out with you." IF ANYTHING COULD GET ME TO WRITE, THAT WOULD.

But yeah, not that I will not be thrilled to finish my Splash AU, but I sort of feel like I suck for not managing the prison fic. I have been planning to write it ever since October, and it's almost MAY now. That is ridiculous. Then again, I have been planning to write Splash since January of 2008, so. Basically I just fail all around. :( Writing fic is getting me SO DOWN lately, I don't even know. I feel like I have just totally atrophied and am completely incapable. I feel a little bit like that about my fandom involvement in general! I don't WANT to fade away, but I sort of feel like I'm slipping! I don't comment or post even half as much as I did this time last year. I WILL TURN IT AROUND, THOUGH! STARTING NOW! NO MORE! I blame having a job and a (sort of) life. I am sick of having a job and life, guys. Getting drunk with friends/coworkers three times a week only gets me so far. :( I just want to read fic and lounge around all day. WHO CARES ABOUT CHANGING THE WORLD, ANYWAY. NOT ME.

No, that's a lie. On Friday I was working until after 11 PM because I went to run a workshop at an event in Southeast (The place I was is like. The worst neighbourhood you can be in in DC, and that's saying something.) that was being held at a community center to draw kids and teens in to get HIV tests. We found a positive. :( Which is really sad. I mean, these are kids between 11 and about 16 or so. We'll have to go back and have a bunch more events at that community center, since there's an affected population. It's really depressing. And a lot of the kids from the community didn't even come, because they were having a candleight vigil in that neighbourhood that night for a 16-year-old who'd gotten shot the night before. Another kid is on life support still, and in critical condition. So yeah. My work leaves me pretty heavy sometimes. Plus it's not exactly safe to be chilling at 8th and Yuma waiting for the bus for an hour at 11 PM, but I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.

ANYWAY. ON A LIGHTER NOTE! valiant is an enabler, and got me hooked on Dr. Ashens. He is this hilarious English dude in a suit who reviews shitty electronic games. IT SOUNDS RANDOM, I KNOW! But just watch a couple of his videos and you will be SUCKED IN FOREVER. Liquid Filth! "Bob is both a Jedi and a cyborg, and therefore a force to be reckoned with." OSIgnkfhodinfh AHAHAH OH MAN. Just. Go watch.


And now, two quick recs!

On Your Dime, by kelleigh. Smith/Wesson. :D! SAM WESSON AS A PHONESEX WORKER. HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

Be Awake, by candle_beck. It is probably totally needless to rec anything by candle_beck. I instantly assume everything she posts is automatically recced far and wide by the very AIR WE BREATHE. She is so fucking amazing. This was a dizzy, lovely, amazing little fic. Her words are poetry and I felt all light and happy and sleepy afterwards. AMAZING. Also, I have had a concussion before, and I only wish I had had Sam there to take care of me when I had it like Dean does.


UGH it is like twelve trillion billion degrees in my house right now. :( DO NOT WANT. Weep. I will use my sweaty Jared icon to show my current state. Also, I am listening to Tinted Windows, Taylor Hanson's "supergroup" made of the most hilariously random people ever. HERE, have their album! It is sort of fun and bouncy and cool! To combat the smothering heat of my house. Haha. :/ Or not.

Anyway. Lastly: valiant and I were having a bit of a discussion the other day, and now I am curious. What is your definition of "romance"? i.e. What makes something romantic, or a romance story? What are the main pillars of what romance really is?

I have not made a non-episode-reaction post in a REALLY LONG TIME. Life and work have been stressful as of late. I just get SO TIRED when I am home! Like I don't feel like doing anything at all but blobbing around. It's no fun, and is not conducive to having interesting things to say in LJ entries.

HOWEVER! Here is something interesting:


weecest weecest weecest! It is a new open fic comm for Sam/Dean weechester shenanigans, and everyone should go there and WRITE ME AMAZING WEECEST! :D! You know you want to. The more convoluted current canon gets, the more I want to bury myself in pre-series and roll around without a care in the world. <333! JOIN! Pimp to your naughty friends!


Wow, I have stuff in this Semagic window from a BILLION YEARS. I have a note still about how I want to squee about JARED AND LEFTIES from the con! :D! If I had been there, I would probably have been screaming my fool head off and/or convulsing on the ground. RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS!

I also have a link to an amusing find. The Jensen sports cars. I am suddenly HUGELY curious if there is someone doing a j2_everafter fic based on Cars. :D!

beckaandzac came to play with me this weekend, and we had LOTS OF FUN and also there was lots of movie-viewing and reading of our unfinished fics. WHICH brings me to the fact that I DESPERATELY need to rec a finished fic of Becka's. Too Much of a Good Thing Makes It Better is STUPENDOUSLY AMAZING PORN. Like, seriously brain-melting. You will probably have a heart attack reading it. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: THIS FIC IS TOO HOT TO EXIST, etc. And I'm not just saying that because she started writing it for me in a gchat window while I was ostensibly "working". HAHA. Oh man. ANYWAY go read! Jared/Jensen and buttplugs is never wrong.

I have some camwhore pictures because I recently bought a cadre of Threadless tees and also some new earrings and sunglasses. I also found a picture from about a year and a half ago of me with my blue/purple/black hair. Does anyone care? Probably not, but these will all just sit around on my computer, forever pointless, if I don't upload. So there.

( I am sure you care deeply about my retail therapy and bad hair. )

You know what SUCKS BALLS? THE CLASSIC ROCK STATION IN DC. THE ONLY RADIO STATION I EVER LISTEN TO. THE ONLY ONE I CAN EVEN STAND. IS NOW "CONTEMPORARY POP". osiadgnlkdgoinsofinssdohgsin GOD I AM SO MAD. What the hell am I supposed to listen to in the car now when I can't be bothered with my own stuff. :( BLAAAAAAH ANGRY SAD MISERABLE. I HATE THE WORLD. I miss you, 94.7 FM. :(

YAY YAY SPN BEING RENEWED FOR A FIFTH SEASON! My immediate thought was that HURRAH, Jared and Jensen will live together for another year at least, and we don't have to weep and wail and rend our garments over their separation just yet. <3333!

WHICH. SPEAKING OF JARED AND JENSEN AND NOT BEING SEPARATED.

Venice Magazine: You have My Bloody Valentine 3D in theaters now and your "Supernatural" costar Jared Padalecki has Friday the 13th out this month. Is there any sense of friendly competition?

Jensen: No, not at all. In fact, let me look here [reaching for his cell phone searching through messages], he wrote, "Hey dude, thinking about you, hope it's going well. Kick ass. Enjoy." No, we're very supportive. I'm stoked to see his movie and he said he couldn't wait to see mine.


isudbgskgnsoiedgnsodrinh WHO DOES THAT?! WHO TEXTS JUST TO SAY "THINKING ABOUT YOU"?! I MEAN. I don't know about you, but I don't even do that with my best friends in the world. That is what people do with their boyfriends/girlfriends. IT JUST IS. [ETA: Okay, apparently I am wrong and deprived and people are actually this schmoopy with their friends all the time? WHATEVER. JARED IS STILL AMAZING AND A BEAUTIFUL SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE FOR DOING IT.] And the way he IMMEDIATELY WHIPPED OUT HIS PHONE TO SHOW IT OFF IDEK. He is like GLEEFUL about it. Also, it is so beautifully perfect because Jensen was doing his whirlwind press tour for MBV, and of COURSE Jared would text him on the day he had all his junket nonsense because JARED KNOWS HOW MUCH JENSEN HATES IT and wants to encourage him and make him feel better and tell him to kick ass. Like. OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE MY EYEBALLS ARE ACTUALLY HEARTS RIGHT NOW. INSIDE MY HEAD. THEY MAKE ME THAT STUPID FOR THEIR LOVE. I want twelve trillion fics about Jared taking care of Jensen and making him feel good and giving him what he needs, please and thank you. THE D/s WRITES ITSELF.

I know, I know, 28356304863048405874573 people have already said all this stuff. I CAN'T HELP IT. THEIR LOVE. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE. I also want to rec Lucky, by fatedcinderella, which is an ADORABLE J-squared vid to the awesome Jason Mraz song of the same name. I watched it like six times in a row and then went and watched all my other fave vids and exploded of tinhatty joy.

I have been home sick today after apparently contracting the plague over the weekend. NO FUN. I was supposed to use the time at home to write, but of course I've been reading fic and spazzing out over Jared and Jensen being in love instead. :/ EVER THE PROCRASTINATOR, ME. I certainly know how to use my time wisely.

OH! I meant to say! It's also good that there's definitely going to be another season of SPN because that means Sam and Dean won't die (at least not permanently) at the end of this one. LOTS OF HIATUS FIC, YAY!

Okay, so can we please stop talking about Christian Bale being a horrible person. :( It is seriously breaking my heart. The man is probably borderline crazy anyway, as many of the best artists are, plus he's under enormous amounts of stress, plus we all get angry sometimes and blow up when we shouldn't. Yes, it was extremely unprofessional and rude and upsetting to have gone off on that dude, but no, that doesn't make him a despicable human being or mean that you should boycott his movies. He's an amazing actor, very generous and devoted to numerous charities, ridiculously gorgeous, and he has a beautiful, loving family. His entire life has been tumultuous and full of instability. Let's just chill, please, and remember that he is human and makes mistakes like everyone else, except his get spread to all corners of the universe by the tabloids.

ALSO. I missed The Big Bang Theory tonight, AND Gossip Girl, AND Kyle XY. THIS IS NO GOOD. And I got spoiled for something that happens next week in SPN that I am really, really tempted to make a separate spoiler-cut post about, but everyone would probably think I was insane, so I will hold off for now.

IN OTHER NEWS. Saturday night was awesome, as I went out and had Mexican and then got drunk at P.F. Chang's (CLASSY, I know) and saw Slumdog Millionaire. I am probably the LAST person on the PLANET to see it but aodsigtnewoingsdgoinLSGosdin IT WAS SO GOOD. *_*! I CRIED A LOT. It was seriously amazing. And I don't think it was the alcohol talking, although who knows. Those Orange Manhattans or whatever they were were REALLY, REALLY strong. We ended up getting to the theatre a little bit later than I usually like to, so we were walking in while the trailers were playing. As soon as I pushed open the door to the corridor leading up to the seating, I SHRIEKED and was like OMFG OMFG THAT IS JARED PADALECKI'S VOICE! Conveniently forgetting that duh it is Jared Padalecki's voice; he is the lead in a big movie that is coming out in two weeks. CLEARLY IT IS NOT UNLIKELY THEY WOULD PLAY THE TRAILER. Ahaha, anyway. I was happy and it was the long trailer that I didn't get to see at My Bloody Valentine 3D, so YAY. Then they showed a long Watchmen trailer and I squealed some more, and then a Wolverine one. I WAS ALMOST AS HAPPY WITH THE PREVIEWS AS THE MOVIE. <333!

Then yesterday was spent marathoning yet more Gilmore Girls with sadcypress. We finished season 2 and are now embarking on the train wreck that is season 3. SIGH. We also watched The Boondock Saints, though, which I have seen countless times and which will always remain one of my favourites. HOWEVER. We got carried away and I didn't make the metro in time to get back before the last train, so I crashed at Emily's and threw a hissyfit on the phone when my mom refused to help me out by getting my car from the metro station by my house. WHY WOULD YOU NOT HELP YOUR KID IF THEY WERE STRANDED IN MARYLAND AND COULDN'T PICK UP THEIR CAR? WHY WOULD YOU WISH A PARKING TICKET OR WORSE ON THEM? There is no reason. I think there was some sort of misguided attempt to teach me a lesson involved, but like. I am 22 years old. I realize that it is not good to fail to check train times and schedule accordingly. I MADE ONE STUPID LITTLE MISTAKE. Was it really necessary to be that obnoxious about it? I THINK NOT. So anyway, I staggered home at like 4.30 AM and luckily I did not have a ticket under my windshield wipers, but you know. It's the PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. Though my dad did tell me he snuck out while my mom was asleep and drove out to check on my car at like 3 AM to make sure no one had stolen it or broken in or anything, which was very sweet of him. Haha, oh Daddy.

I really want to talk about work on Saturday, but I think maybe I will save that for a separate post? I have a LOT of stuff I want to say about work, actually. It is turning out to be seriously kick-ass amazing; way, way better than I had ever anticipated. <333! I love it.

OOH IT JUST STARTED SNOWING. :D! YAY! Ahaha, clearly I jinxed it by saying I love going to work. Not that I would not enjoy a nice snowday, though, obviously. Sleeping in trumps pretty much everything ever. Also I have my whenboymeetsboy fic to write and lots of comments to answer. NEED MORE HOURS IN THE DAY.


OH, SO! Before I forget, SOME RECS:

proofpudding is like. A VID GENIUS. Please check out Untitled, which is very short, but packs and intense auditory wallop. AMAZING. My Sam/Dean love was fairly BURSTING from my pores after this. So, so hot.

secretlytodream made sure Jared and Jensen didn't feel left out, though. Move Down To Me left me BEAMING SO HARD MY FACE STILL HURTS. *_*! THEIR LOVE. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW. THEIR FACES. THE WAY THEY TOUCH. EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM OH MY GOD.

nargynargy has an amazing rec post HERE, which I would like to rec. Can you rec a rec post? Well, I'm doing it. :D It's mostly art recs, and they are all AWESOME and I spent much of my evening checking out all the artists she linked and right-click save-target-as-ing. AWESOME STUFF.


Lastly, I just recently decided to start using Tree as my Gmail theme. I am VERY RESISTANT to change in my layouts and skins and things (JUST ASK ME HOW PISSED OFF I WAS WHEN LJ CHANGED THE PROFILE PAGE) but for some reason I LOVE TREE. *_*! LOVE IT. I LOVE THAT IT TELLS ME THE WEATHER AND IS SIMPLE AND ADORABLE AND FITS ON MY SCREEN! What Gmail themes do you all use? Does it bother you when you have to scroll to see the bottom? Why do you love the ones you love? SHOULD I VENTURE OUTSIDE MY TREE COMFORT ZONE IN THE NAME OF SHAKING THINGS UP AND LIVING THE WILD AND CRAZY LIFE?

WOW this weekend has sped by! I'm so glad I've got to have the house all to myself, though.

sadcypress and I had a stellar Gilmore Girls marathon on Friday night, and then beckaandzac came over for a writing party on Saturday but we were just COMPLETELY UNPRODUCTIVE and she ended up crashing here (and also we talked to drunkface kittyzams on the phone for ages; ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, JEANINE?). So then today I was going to sleep nice and late and get lots of betaing and writing done, BUT NO. Sigh.

I am so heinously behind in my spn_j2_xmas obligations, oh crap. I am not going to let myself watch The Big Bang Theory tomorrow unless I have at least 3,000 words of fic. WHICH I am not allowed to start until I finish the 20,000 word fic I am currently betaing.

I have had Chinese and Indian and Mexican so far over the span of the weekend. *_* NOM NOM FOOD. ALSO I just cracked open a nice cold bottle of German white, and I plan on drinking the ENTIRE. THING. TONIGHT. You have no idea how much I fucking need it right now. ACTUALLY you probably do, ahaha. But yeah.

My week of training was mostly tedious, occasionally fun. There are some really cool people who are going to be in this HealthCorps program, and I'm actually getting REALLY excited about my placement. One cool thing is that since I'll usually be working on Saturdays (that's the main day when the teens come in for the session), I don't have to work on Mondays. WHICH MEANS NO WORK TOMORROW. \o/! Three day weekend!

Oh man, on Friday? I went to the building we usually had training at, but then after I'd already gotten up to the meeting room and realized no one was there, I remembered OH SHIT we were supposed to be meeting at a high school that morning instead, for CPR and first aid training. So I had to RUN back to the Metro and hop it for like 10 stops or more, and then RUN to the high school which was like over 12 blocks away, and I was wearing painful shoes with NO SOCKS and just. D: OH GOD. My feet are STILL bleeding and hurting. NO GOOD. asodignqoaewidgksd D: My project presentation that day was good, though. And we had a really hard topic and rocked it, so that kind of made up for my disgusting blistery feet.

Also, I don't know if you know this, but the DC public schools are the worst in the nation. It was the first time I'd ever been in a school with an x-ray thing for backpacks and a metal detector, and you have to sign in and show ID to the four security officers right inside the door. :( It was really depressing. The system needs a SERIOUS revamp, and I'm sure I will be learning way more about it than I ever cared to know when I'm working with these high schoolers all year. Anyway. Sigh.

HAPPY THINGS: I'm sure everyone must have seen Jared at the photo exhibit by now, but OH GOD I CANNOT STOP LOOKING AT IT. *_* GOD HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. That HAIR and his FACE and his SEXY SEXY COAT and sdoginsdion nnnnngh SCARF IDEK. Dying! NOM.

I watched Jensen on all of his varied talk shows, too, and only died of heinous embarrassment a little bit. His FACE when Chelsea asked him about marrying Danneel OMFG POOR BABY AHAHAHA. And when Jimmy Kimmel mentioned the online boards he got his questions from aodignsdegosdinfh oh god Jensen. I DO NOT ENVY YOU AND YOUR LAME BARRACUDA STORY AND TANGERINE FACE.

Speaking of J-squared! To wrap up, here are the two most diametrically opposed Jared/Jensen fics you will even read:

We'll dance all night 'til the house falls down, by fleshflutter. UM. WOW. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I actually came up with this idea with lazy_daze, basically to illustrate our idea of The Best Most Fucked-Up J-Squared Fic Ever, and we were so enamoured of it, we were like. WELL NOW SOMEONE HAS TO WRITE IT! But neither of us had the time to do it, and besides, we thought, NO ONE WOULD BE ABLE TO WRITE IT LIKE FLESH COULD. It was a joke at first, showing her what we'd come up with, but then SHE ACTUALLY WROTE IT and made it more twistedly, darkly, amazingly gorgeous than we ever could have dreamed. It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but it is absolutely, horribly masterful. I am in awe.

Win-Win Situation, by mediaville. I had the ENORMOUS honour of betaing this badboy, and can I just say, OH MY GOD. So stupidly hilarious and hot and perfect and NON-AU and amazing aiodsgnewosgindgosinh there are not enough superlatives for this comedic goldmine of hotness. SCORCHINNNNG. Even the KISSING makes me pant, holy crap.

SO I just finished Oz. I am dead and empty inside. :( SOMEONE WHO HAS SEEN THE SERIES FINALE AND REMEMBERS THE ENDING NEEDS TO SOOTHE MY SAVAGE SOUL. I KIND OF WANT TO CEASE EXISTING.

I will just think about the fact that RICHARD GILMORE was Beecher's dad (ILU EDWARD HERMANN) and that DOAKES and ANGEL from Dexter were both inmates, and also JOEL GREY. Plus CARLA TURK from Scrubs was a guard's wife and the judge from Legally Blonde was someone's mom and the SHERIFF OF ROTTINGHAM from Men in Tights was a reporter guy and BART BASS was a mean FBI agent. Basically EVERY MODERN B-LIST ACTOR EVER was on Oz. Anita from West Side Story! It doesn't get any better than that.

Also I will think about THIS. OMFG THE DEEP BEAUTIFUL SOUL-KISSES. :( Why can't Jared and Jensen be on Oz? WHY? Why can't they MAKE OUT FOR FUN at awards shows and joke about how they are better kissers than their female significant others? That is the question. Probably because their hotness would melt the planet, whereas Beecher/Keller is okay because Christopher Meloni and Lee Tergesen are not exactly conventionally attractive men, and become SCORCHING HOT only because they neck in public and their characters cling desperately to each other and cry and kill and are filled with raging passion and hurt for each other.

AMUSINGLY, when I was looking for the link to that collage of makeouts, SOMETHING WEIRDLY PERFECT HAPPENED:

( Coincidence? I THINK NOT. )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE, JARED? Hah! You sexiest-man-on-TV, you. The only thing that would make you sexier is macking with your costar and running around full-frontal like Christopher Meloni and Lee Tergesen. TAKE NOTES.


In RL news, I had a job interview Friday! IT IS SO CRIPPLINGLY IRONIC. I was really excited to get an Americorps position, especially one relating to STD education and teen pregnancy prevention. BUT. THE PLACEMENT IS AT A BIRTH CENTER. :( And anyone who knows me knows that ME + BIRTHING CENTER = DISASTER. I went in for my interview and had to sit in a "birthing room" surrounded by plaster-of-paris casts of 32584087630852058 pregnant-bellies-and-boobs, all hand-made and grotesquely painted. It was like MY NIGHTMARES COME TO LIFE. The nurses I spoke with were like, "HAHA it is mandatory that everyone who works here has to see at least one live birth :D!" and I was like, "...!" SERIOUSLY. WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT? They were talking about how they all cried at the beauty of childbirth when they saw it for the first time and I wanted to scream "YOU'RE FUCKING RIGHT I'LL BE CRYING! BUT NOT BECAUSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" I didn't, though. :( My self-restraint is truly astounding. Anyway. I'm sad the program and position are so great because I absolutely do not think I can work at that clinic. Besides the Birthing Issues, it's also a two-hour commute for me, each way. So I will have to see if they have something else for me. If they don't? Well. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I also saw Milk the other day with amissio! OMG SO AMAZING. GOD. SEAN PENN. JAMES FRANCO. :( I was like sobbing into my scarf so as not to disturb the people sitting around us. So beautiful and amazing and touching and GALVANIZING. So APPROPRIATE and RELEVANT and HOPEFUL in the midst of the sadness. We can do this!


Lastly, I want to make two quick recs:

girlmostlikely's Domestic Schmoop Meme! Lots of amazing prompts and comment fics! I haven't had a chance to play over there yet, but OMG it looks like SO MUCH FUN and there are SO MANY GREAT FICLETS TO READ!

It Hurts But Settles [Trust's Built The Set], by rejeneration. This is the most recent in a series of stand-alone fics where Sam is young and troubled and Dean is trying as hard as he can to love him and save him and be there for him. It's delicious, DELICIOUS hurt/comfort, which is what I am ALL ABOUT lately. God the ANGST. It is gorgeous and poignant and I love love love it. I am a sucker for drug fics in general, especially fics where there is tricking for drugs, but even if you're not, this is just awesome.


I will leave you with this, because. Just. OZ. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU. I have to remember the genius disco duets so I don't just rock in the corner of my room weeping for the rest of my life.

I think maybe being internet-less for so long got me out of the habit of posting. It has been like a WEEK and I never EVER voluntarily wait that long between posts. Weird!

Anyway! On Friday, sadcypress and I saw Were the World Mine, which is JUST AS SPECTACULARLY AMAZING AS I HAD HOPED. Amazing schmooness! Amazing music! I LOVED IT.

Here, have the soundtrack!

Pretty rugby boys ballet dancing and singing and making out! WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LOVE. It was also ripe for CWRPS re-casting. Timothy doing his little gayface dance around the kitchen was so perfectly Jared-y, I was squealing and smacking Emily in the face. He even has a built-in Chad and Sandy!

I have also been watching Oz. OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG?! IT IS SO. FUCKING. AWESOME. I am absolutely addicted. ADDICTED. It is genius and also has had "Max. Medina. Maaaaaax Medina" from Gilmore Girls, Taub from House, La Guerta from Dexter, Mercutio from Romeo + Juliet, and like everyone else ever in it. UGH IT IS LIKE. EVERYTHING I LOVE ALL MOOSHED TOGETHER IN ONE AWESOME SHOW. I just watched the episode where Keller first arrives (in season 2) and THE FIRST KISS JUST HAPPENED and I am freaking PEEING MYSELF. OISNGWOetlgkmsfhdngoKMLDg HNNNNGH OTP. Also, I had a nap today after I watched a few episodes, and a REALLY ODD SEX DREAM where I had a dick and fooled around with Ryan O'Reily while high on something and then he sprayed me with hairspray and tried to set me on fire and I stop-drop-rolled to put it out and ran to get help but this guy I found wouldn't help me so I beat the crap out of him. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. OZ HAS TAKEN OVER MY SUBCONSCIOUS, APPARENTLY.

There is a REASON I started watching Oz the other day, actually, but it is SECRET for the moment. :">! YOU WILL SEE.

I've also been thinking about DISNEY lately, because there was a really neat documentary on TCM about live-action Disney movies last night, and also of course j2_everafter! I think I might just know WHAT I WILL BE SIGNING UP FOR. Although if someone doesn't do Newsies, I may have to have a long think. Because Christian Bale singing and dancing + J-squared re-casting = these are a few of my favourite things. :D!

SPEAKING OF THINGS I AM PLANNING ON WRITING. anothersuperboy posted THIS PICTURE the other day and I just about wet myself with Splash AU joy. THAT IS SOME HARDCORE INSPIRATION, RIGHT THERE.

Meanwhile, THE CHILD IN THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE THING. Amazing. I can just imagine my sister's future family being like this, one day. Or two people I knew from high school. :D! It also makes me think of Andy from The Office, which is never a bad thing.

On the topic of high school! The next part in the My High School Rocks segment: The Best of the Best. :D!

SO NOSTALGIC. GOD I LOVE IT. There is even some footage of my class in there! <333 TJ.

ANNNND lastly! I know people hardly need recs to go read candle_beck's fic these days, but oh man.

For Keeps For Good Forever may have made me cry even more than the cop AU did. It's season 3 as it would have happened if Dean had never told Sam about the deal, basically, and it just. Wow. Have some tissues ready. Gorgeous and painful and amazing, as always.

Eight Things You Should Know is a welcome reprieve from the endless angst! AND I GOT JUST ONE WORD FOR YOU: TICKLING. OH. MY GOD.

I HAVE A FAVOUR TO ASK! My friend redragonfly027 has been getting into making mosaics lately. And she requested my TOP TEN PICTURES OF JARED PADALECKI to go through in order to choose the best one to MAKE A MOSAIC OUT OF. And I do not even know where to begin. That is like asking me which molecule of air I have breathed is my favourite. So here is your mission, should you choose to accept it:

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PICTURES OF JARED PADALECKI?

They can be from anything! Any era! Any show (YES, SAM PICS OR DEAN FORESTER PICS OR WHATEVER-CHARACTER PICS ARE A-OKAY)! Any event! But they should be of JUST JARED, for the sake of simplicity. LINK OR REPOST IN COMMENTS, AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! Or you could even just DESCRIBE the picture to me, because I probably have it somewhere and could go find it. What's in it for you? WELL I MEAN REALLY. WHO DOESN'T WANT TO SEE A MOSAIC OF JAREDSCHMOO? NO ONE. THAT IS WHO.


In other news! I cannot get over the fact that Clif the J-squared Bodyguard is also Tiny from Folsom Prison Blues. I wonder which came first! :D! I want fics with Clif in them, guys. *_* CLIF AS MATCHMAKER! CLIF AS MOTHER HEN! CLIF AS LEATHER-DADDY BEAR-TYPE MENTOR! Clif as secret obsessive fanboy! He is just so adorable. :( I bet they have such funtimes. :(

I uploaded Chad grinding on Jared's lap in a minivan. It's just a teeny split-second clip at about 00:27 or so from one of the Movie Life: House of Wax segments. BUT STILL. CHAD. Also him tweaking the director's nipple and talking about his peen-hawk. The things I do for kittyzams. :/

I was going to talk about how I have seen Twilight, and not only once, but TWICE, but I...kind of do not have anything to say about it. Everyone already knows it is super funny (unintentionally), which it is, and that it is very entertaining, despite one's thoughts on its cinematic legitimacy, which it also is. And that's all I really have to say about that!

I have also read LOTS OF BOOKS, as I had so much time with no internet and no job. They were mostly PORN, ahaha. One of them was a memoir of a male prostitute, and it made me WRIGGLE with hookerfic glee. WHY DO I LOVE THESE THINGS SO MUCH? I have no idea. I contend that it is like. PART OF THE HUMAN CONDITION! I know there are probably HUNDREDS of you who are either secret or not-so-secret cravers of sex industry fic! SO FASCINATING.

Speaking of fic! I am like. DROWNING myself in research for my spn_j2_xmas fic. I WILL BE SO PROUD IF I CAN PULL THIS OFF. It really should be a Big Bang or something instead, and I don't know if I will be able to do it justice in the span of just a month, but I am very, very stoked about it anyway. :D! WE SHALL SEE.

Also fic-related (and occasionally sex-industry-related!), here are some recs that I got super excited about recently. J-squared first:

Jared and Jensen as the stand-in/body-double couple in Love Actually, by poor_choices. Okay, so this one doesn't actually have a title, haha, but SHE WROTE IT BECAUSE I WAS DYING OVER HOW THERE SHOULD BE J-SQUARED AUS OF THE COUPLES IN LOVE ACTUALLY AND SHE SOFINDEGODINGOISNF ACTUALLY INDULGED ME. *_*! It started out as a comment fic and I was like. DYING. ALL DAY. FOR NEW BITS. And then she posted it all finished and it is like. The best thing ever.

In Sweet Water, by privilegedesire. sodingsodigndg WATERSPORTS. Delicious, AMAZING watersports. I'm not sure if I've ever actually read a J-squared fic with watersports before at all, let alone a non-AU one. And I don't know that I've ever seen watersports as a kink handled this way in fic; Jensen is SO into it, he even regularly does it alone. Like. Nnnngh.

And now a bunch of SPN:

I told you a thousand times, by rivers_bend. SOGINgdspoignskg SPEAKING OF WATERSPORTS. But not only does it have watersports, it is DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS WEECEST. WITH TICKLING. I have such an enormous THING for tickling as a kink, IDEK. And like no one ever, ever, EVER writes it. I think I must be a dirty weirdo to love it so much when like nobody else ever even talks about it. But ANYWAY this fic is PERFECT and SO PORNY AND WONDERFUL and ALL FOR ME. Three of my very favourite things! It is like. Scorching hot. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Sam Winchester and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by leonidaslion. So this is about Sam having the day from hell. But it is SO WELL-DONE I was like. Screaming with frustration right along with Sam, even as I was laughing at his misfortunes. AND THEN. AT THE END. SOINFWKSGOINDH. I CRIED. LIKE ACTUAL TEARS. GOOD TEARS, THOUGH. HAPPY TEARS. TEARS OF RELIEF AND JOY. I think that probably says something really bad about me as a person, ahaha, but it is 100% trufax. Most satisfying ending EVER.

The Song of the Treadmill, by tabaqui. I had this open in a tab for a million years before I finally was really bored one day and thoughy, EH, WHY NOT? And I just. Holy shit. I am so, SO glad I was bored that day. This fic. THIS FIC. I CANNOT DO IT JUSTICE IN WORDS. The sheer power of the atmosphere of this fic, of the world-building, of the RAZOR-SHARP characterization and plotting and just. I DO NOT KNOW. I ached and gasped and had like. A FULL-BODY-EXPERIENCE reading this. I never wanted it to end. I want to MAKE THIS SEASON FOUR. It handles angels the way I wish they would've been handled in canon. It handles SAM and DEAN and their FATES the way I wish they would've been handled in canon. IT IS PAINFUL, HOW MUCH I WANT THIS FIC TO BE THE SHOW.

Look the Other Way, by candle_beck. There is probably no need for me to rec this fic. I think everyone in the universe has already heard all about it and has either already read it or decided they will never read it because candle_beck RIPS YOUR HEART OUT AND STOPS ALL OVER IT WEARING HOBNAIL BOOTS. And you will be begging for her (yes, HER!) to do it again and again. I read this fic on my phone lying on my back in bed when I was internet-less, and my ears were FULL OF WATER for like aodignsdogin an hour after I was finished because I could not stop fucking WEEPING. So. That should tell you a lot. osignakesdgoinfdgofinh This fic. Defies my ability to rec it. Just. Read it. And keep tissues by the bed.


Meanwhile, the real world trudges ever onward! My high school continues to be the best in the country! Barack Obama continues to be LEFT-HANDED and therefore the best EVER (shush, I know, John McCain is left-handed, too, and so is Thomas Kinkade but WHATEVER that just means they have SECRET AWESOME in them, way deep down!). Dexter continues to be the HIGHEST-QUALITY SHOW ON TELEVISION as it rocks my fucking SOCKS OFF every single week (I have a deep and true love of Angel's VICE girlfriend, though I cannot remember her name, ahahaha. SHE IS AN ENCYCLOPEDIA OF PERV. SPEAKING OF HOOKERFIC!). I continue to have an ENORMOUS QUANTITY of leftover Sour Patch Kids from the 2 POUND BAG I got for when sadcypress and I gorged on Gilmore Girls this past Saturday. LJ continues to perplex me!

ANYWAY. GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR TOP TEN JARED PICS OF ALL TIME.


ETA: I KNEW IT, OH MY GOD, IT IS SO HIS. AND ALSO HE WAS NOT ACTUALLY AT THE MILKSHOP THING. WHAT DO I WIN? I hope it is a Jared. With a crippled puppy. :(

I JUST MADE MYSELF THE MOST DELISH EGG MCMUFFIN EVER. *_*! Mmmmnomnomnom. And I have cranberry juice and an empty house and a beautiful Saturday of doing jack-shit stretched out lazily before me. Today is a GOOD DAY.

I had an awesome night last night with high school friends, including a rousing game of Apples To Apples, which is clearly the BEST GAME EVER. I want to play it like. All day. Also, I finally got to see Hot Fuzz, which I'd been wanting to see but never got around to. GENIUS. AMAZING. COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN BETTER WITH MAKING OUT. :D! :D! :D! We also watched Splash, and I got all excited about my AU again, even though I have a few exchange fics I have to write first. YAY.

I also read an amazing fic last night, Hangman is Coming Down From the Gallows, which was a Big Bang fic by withdiamonds. OH MAN. I cried. :( Ever since 4.10, I have been gagging for a really long, plotty, rich Sam/Dean fic with wit and atmosphere and just. TOTAL AMAZINGNESS. That will explain canon and carry on the mytharc and make sense of everything we've been given. Obviously no one's had time to WRITE one of those yet, so I dug through my tabs to find an older Sam/Dean fic that would be a good substitute. AND MAN. This fic totally surpassed my expectations, and REALLY made me wish that season 4 had gone like THIS. Heartbreaking and amazingly wriiten and just. aoinglskdgnsodgn gorgeous. The ending is masterful.

( Speaking of 4.10! )

SORRY that got kind of long and ranty. :/ Whoops.

ANYWAY UM. I am going to go on a hunt for some spectacular J-squared fics. Has anyone read any good ones lately? I AM DESPERATE from something LONG and FLUFFY and LOVEY.

So! THERE ARE CON REPORTS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW, GUYS, HOW ARE THEY SO ADORABLE. Knowing that Jared has a picture of Jensen passed out with his dogs in bed on his phone makes me want to vomit hearts and rainbows. HIS THREE FAVOURITE THINGS. *_*! And that they WATCHED ELECTION NIGHT TOGETHER. And just. GOD. THE ASTRONOMICAL AMOUNTS OF FLIRTING GOING ON. I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE IT. Do they not know what they look like? I seriously hardly even care about the obnoxious fans because I am SO BLOWN AWAY by the RIDICULOUS FLIRTING. WHAT. :D! :D! :D! Man, I am still waiting for another iconic photo like the one from the last Chicago con where they are lovingly gazing at each other with those twitterpated expressions, though. BRING IT ON.

In other SPN news, after a weekend of talking and re-hashing and explaining and fanwanking, I am coming to terms with 4.09. BUT! All the drama and angst about it gave me a horrible dream where Jared was like my BFF and I was madly in love with him (go figure) and he came over to my house to watch football with me, but while we were watching football, he got a call on his cell telling him his brother died. :( And he was completely broken and devastated and IT FELT SO FUCKING REAL, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY. I WOKE UP WITH TEARS IN MY EYES. Lame, man. When I have Jared dreams, they are supposed to be GOOD ONES. :(

SO, a feel-good rec! What Texas Guys Do When They're Bored, by longsufferingly. HILARIOUS and perfectly relevant. ;)! LOVE IT.

More delicious gayitude: HERO IS GOING TO BE ON SHOWTIME! OMFG SO EXCITED! The book was actually totally mediocre in execution, but in SUBJECT it seriously made me pee with joy. So I am really excited to see what they'll do with it! I'm encouraged by the fact that I really didn't like the book of Dexter, but the TV show is pretty much the highest-quality thing on television. They can take great concepts and honour their untapped potential!

THEN! THERE IS THIS! I SERIOUSLY CANNOT REMEMBER EVER BEING AS STOKED FOR A MOVIE AS I AM FOR THIS ONE. HOLY. SHIT. IT'S LIKE. EVERYTHING I COULD EVER ASK FOR:



I NEED IT. RIGHT. NOW. SO EXCITED.


I have been watching scads of Wildfire, lately, and am hardcore shipping Matt/Junior. AM I THE ONLY ONE ON THE PLANET WHO WATCHES WILDFIRE? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE SEEN IT.

I've also been gorging on Top Chef, which incited me to have an enormous dinner party spread the other night. I made a HORRENDOUS MESS of the kitchen but I made some really delicious butternut squash Parmesan sage soup with garlic and sage croutons, some braised pork loin with thyme dressing, and fresh sauteed green beans with applewood smoked bacon and caramelized shallots. PLUS a pumpkin cupcake with cream cheese frosting for dessert. :D! IT WAS AWESOME. I think tonight I am going to make some chili from scratch.

OH AND I SAW THE NEW JAMES BOND. I fell asleep during it. I was not exactly a fan. I liked the main chick, though.

SO TOMORROW IS THE 4TH OF NOVEMBER! I am sure all the Americans on my flist are tired of being entreated to vote, espesh because you're all the LAST people who need to be reminded, if the volume of PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! posts I have read today are any indication. And I hope the non-Americans can hold on through one more day of rock-the-vote hysteria. God, I am so freaking optimistic! I AM JUST FULL OF JOY AND LOVE AND HOPE AND POSITIVE FEELINGS. I'm just. :D Yay. THIS has a lot to do with it.

In other news, the unemployment stress continues apace. I am a total extrovert and in person I love to be chatty and charming with randoms, but TODAY? TODAY I HAD LIKE. THE WORST CASE OF SOCIAL ANXIETY THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. It was pretty spectacular, but I did end up with two interviews this week and also should be expecting a call from some HR people from the hospital by my house. So. I suppose it could have been worse, even though I was a total spaz.

Speaking of phone calls! My mom was on the phone with the bank the other day, trying to get some paper statements switched to email statements. And I was sitting on the rug by her desk, chillin' because it was about an account I hold in conjunction with her and she might need some info. from me. So she starts talking to the guy on the phone, and she's grinning like CRAZY, and trying not to giggle at me. So I'm like, "WHAT?" and she roots around on her desk for some scrap paper and pencil while she's still talking to the guy, and she writes and passes me a NOTE that says:

His name is JARED!!!

sodginkledsmhoijoseidg OH MOTHER. IDEK. I HAVE TAUGHT YOU WELL. HAHAHA. There are kind of a lot of people in this world called Jared besides THE Jared, and if I flipped my shit over all of them, I would have a very tiring life. But the fact that she was so excited to tell me that MAKES MY DAY.

I cannot stop dying of laughter at THIS 4.07 screencap. LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ. He looks like a post-brawl extra from The Godfather or something. Or like he's about to say, "I coulda been a contender!" in a hilarious Brando-voice. I have always held that Misha and/or Castiel looks like a large anthropomorphic Persian cat with his funny flat face and down-turned mouth and bulgy eyes, but here he just looks like he's gonna end up sleepin' with the fishes.

WHICH REMINDS ME! The other night I had the BEST. DREAM. EVER. Where Jensen was on America's Next Top Model with the cycle 11 girls, except that they were not only models, but PROSTITUTES. I think this came from talking about If At First You Don't Succeed, Suck Seed with beckaandzac and ciaan (IN PERSON!) on Halloween, but oh man. Jensen was giving all the models lessons in acting convincing when they're fucking johns and sodginaksdlh it was kind of spectacular in both a social commentary sort of way and in a hookerfic sort of way. JENSEN YOU ARE THE QUEEN COCKSLUT OF THEM ALL. And then the dream morphed weirdly and I lived in a ski chalet and lazy_daze came to visit me in it but got lost in the snow and I never saw her again. WHOOPS.

"WHOOPS" brings me to my next sadface occurrence! I realized after getting an unrelated comment to my Sabrina AU that I SWITCHED POVS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEX SCENE IN IT. AND I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. OMFG I HAAAAATE POV-SWITCHING. Like more than anything ever! I have no idea how I managed to do that and not notice it until MONTHS AND MONTHS LATER, but aosdignsdogsnd it is fixed now. D:


And now some recs!

Sketches of Sam and Sam/Dean, by oddments (who used to be ohsomadly). OH MY GOD. SO STUPIDLY RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS. Victorian!Sam just about made me pass out. As does his TORSO OMFG. And Dean's lips and freckles nnnnnngh.

No, You Hang Up, by bittersplendor. I actually just saw this J-squared fic recced by kittyzams, and it was SPECTACULAR, so I am turning right around and reccing it again. OMG so perfect and heart-clenchy and happy and godgodgod IT SEEMS SO REAL. *_*! BOYS.


I should really write. girlmostlikely made me start on something I've been putting off for like. Half a year, now. Plus, I have SWORN TO JARED'S PEEN that I will finish my Splash AU sometime before 2009. And if I'm lucky, I'll be getting a job REALLY SOON and will not have much time for anything anymore. So yeah. I NEED TO GET CRACKING. I should've done NaNo to get myself in gear! I kind of wish stilettocamp weren't so dead! Or really, anything that is public and will force me to be accountable and not fudge my wordcount, because I WILL DO IT if given the slightest opportunity. D:

WHY CAN'T I HAVE A JOB. Why. WHY?! This is getting ridonkulous. I thought I had a good AmeriCorps position set up in NYC, but a) I do not want to live in Hunts Point and get shivved while trying to teach 12-year-old gang members how to use condoms, and b) I do not want to live on Food Lion brand beans for the rest of the year because food stamps are the only way I will be able to feed myself. :/ THIS PROBABLY MAKES ME A BAD PERSON. But one or the other would be manageable, not both.

So basically, I am not going to take the NYC job, and the LA people never got back to me, and now I am HEALTH INSURANCE-LESS and SALARY-LESS and WASTING AWAY IN MY HOUSE. I am going to have to give up on trying to get a health-related job and just go work at Starbucks or Borders or something so I will at least be insured. GOD it is going to look so bad on my med school applications. :( Why will no one hire me as a medical receptionist. :( I AM SO QUALIFIED. FUCK THE WORKPLACES OF THE WORLD. Ugh.

There is this awesome position as a public health reasearch analyst that I REALLY WANT but I am afraid I won't get health bennies. :( And that they won't ever call me because APPARENTLY NO ONE EVER DOES.

SO ANYWAY. Enough of my anger at the world. I have RECS.

A Little Less Conversation, by poor_choices. Ridiculously hilarious and amazing Sam/Dean, and so sweet! It's a sequel to Alternate Versions, which is also brill and which you should read first if you haven't.

IDK, my BFF Jensen, by mediaville. THE GENIUSOSITY STARTS WITH THE TITLE AND NEVER STOPS. OSGINWKtdgsoinhklsdgoin I am like WEEPING WITH TREMENDOUS LOVE. It's fucking hilarious and SO real-guy-ish and Jared and Jensen are PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT and then it's so unexpectly SWEET and HEARTBREAKING and HOT. I do not even know! AMAZINNNNG. THIS IS SO HOW IT IS.

The Fortress of a High Mind, by dark_reaction. OH MY GOD. PREP SCHOOL AU. The details in this are just FUCKING FABULOUS, and I love the supporting cast, and I LOVE the rivalry between Jared and Jensen SO MUCH. The tension is amazing, and I love how awkward they are with each other, and just. osignsindg I DON'T KNOW. I LOVE IT ALL. I have reread it like a billion times now and I still have not gotten sick of it. PLUS! SOUNDTRACK! AN AMAAAAAZING SOUNDTRACK! You should download it first and listen to it while you read. :D! GENIUS. Also, "Lauren's stories are so amazing I found God and am founding my own order of nuns where they read nothing but her porn."


In other news, I have been obsessing over the obvious enormity of Jared's peen lately. I uploaded THIS PICTURE the other day and have not been able to close it since. This one and this one were also presented for our consideration, courtesy of girlmostlikely's post on the matter. I MEAN REALLY, JARED. I was in chat with some similarly obsessed ladies the other day and we ended up writing out porny porn porn to this effect, and then I stuck all of our bits together (lolz) and came up with a fic, which I will post later for your amusement. HAH.

I have a lot of things to rant about re: the recent allegations by Kripke that DEAN IS NOT A DICK, NOR HAS HE EVER BEEN ONE, NOR WILL HE EVER BE ONE, BECAUSE HE IS A PERFECT SHINING PARAGON OF MANLY VIRTUE TO WHICH ALL MALES MUST ASPIRE AND ALSO HIS HAIR IS MADE OF SPUN GOLD, RAINBOWS SHOOT OUT OF HIS EYEBALLS, AND HE SHITS WHOLE RED VELVET CAKES WITH CREAM CHEESE ICING WHILE RESCUING RETARDED PUPPIES FROM BURNING ORPHANAGES.

But I am not going to say any of them, because I like to try to be positive, even when I am so angry I am feeling uncharitably violent towards the entire universe.

So instead, ( happier thoughts on 4.06! )

Someone mentioned or wrote a fic about DEAN'S FORESKIN the other day, and now I am really excited about the whole thing! I LOVE the idea of the boys being uncut, just because I personally like it, but of course since they're typical Midwest American dudes, they would've most likely been snipped. BUT NOW! Apparently all of Dean's scars are gone, so WHAT IS TO SAY that his foreskin hasn't been tacked back on! He kept his tattoo, which I'm guessing was because it was voluntary, and all his involuntary blemishes were fixed up. So since he would've been a weetiny newborn or infant at the time of his circumcision, it was totally not voluntary and was therefore healed and NOW HE IS INTACT. :D! SAMMY, YOU NEED TO GET ALL HEALED UP NEXT SO YOU TWO CAN BE A MATCHING SET. :D! Mmmm.

And lastly, my two favourite fics of the moment:

And I Have Asked to Be Where No Storms Come, by candle_beck. I've seen this recced left and right, and I cannot possibly think of a more deserving fic. I was SOBBING over this. So, so rich and beautiful and evocative and touching and wrenching and every other adjective I could ever possibly think of. I think maybe candle_beck is my very favourite Sam/Dean writer, and this is why.

One Going on Eternity and Counting, by leonidaslion. This fic just fucking grabbed me by the throat and would not let go. I cannot articulate what it DID to me, man. It's hard and horrible and dark and so, so, so beautiful. I don't want to ruin anything, but please, PLEASE just stick with it if you can, because it is so, so worth it. The ending includes some of the hottest sex just about EVER. I was crying during this one, too, and it's just. I don't know. I was wrecked, man, and ranted to kittyzams for like. HOURS over chat. I can't say enough good things, even though this is harsh and very heavy for most of the way.

I know we are all mocking this. Mocking like CRAZY. BUT. BUT. Hear me out. IN THIS HORRIFYING MOVIE? JARED. IS. LEFT. HANDED. LEFT HANDED. I HAVE SUCH AN ENORMOUS KINK FOR LEFT-HANDEDNESS. I don't even know. I guess kink isn't the right word, really, but I think it is SO SO SO SEXY, I cannot even tell you. Probably because I AM LEFT-HANDED. PLUS. HIS LEGS AND MOTORCYCLE. Nnnghdsgkh. I will totally just watch this movie muted, and it will be the BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. Also, I really want to write fic about how Jared is naturally left-handed but then his teacher forced him to be right-handed (LIKE RAMONA). NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER READ IT. EVER. But I would like. Give myself fits of joy. (Kinkade may be a blight on the face of society, but at least he is left-handed.)

OH MY GOD. I cannot articulate how sodignosindg ridiculously thrilled I am that trolleys is drawing J-squared. I KNOW I SAID IT BEFORE BUT IT BEARS REPEATING. JARED'S NAKED APRON DANCE! JENSEN'S WEE BUTT AND CEREAL. THE SLIPPERS ON BOTH OF THEMMM. SOINLWKsdhfj. This clearly happens IRL, and no one will convince me differently.

I was going to talk about how I recently discovered that HEINOUS spnsecrets post from back in June, but you know what? I AM JUST NOT GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT. LIES, ALL LIES. I had an Existential J-squared Crisis on Wednesday as a result, and THOSE ARE NEVER GOOD. It was helped along by the fact that the Jared/Sandy rumours were just that. Although since then, I think stuff has been sufficiently explained to suggest that they are at LEAST BFF. And if they are BFF, then I am a happy camper.

ANYWAY. Instead of making myself feel weird about RPS, I will talk ( more coherently about 4.04 than I did last night! )


IN CONCLUSION! WHERE ARE ALL THE 4.04 CODAS? I need SCADS of delicious, schmoopy, sappy, pornographic LOVEMAKING fic. Where they fuck face-to-face, slow and deep, and they stare into each other's eyes. And there is CRYING. DECLARATIONS OF LOVE. High, desperate, breathy moans. Clutching. THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. I DON'T CARE HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO NEED IT SO BADLY. I JUST DO.

Relatedly, YAY CONNECTICUT. :D! Three down, forty-seven to go!

So dontyouwaitup made me the BEST T-SHIRT EVER IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. Like. Seriously. It is so amazing, it is almost as good as the actual getting-to-touch-Jared part of Eyecon. SERIOUSLY. BEST. EVER. I am totally not cutting it. That is how amazing it is.



YES. I think everyone must be familiar with my burning, vitriolic hatred of Jess Mariano, but if not. WELL. NOW YOU KNOW. I HAVE NEVER BEFORE HATED A FICTIONAL CHARACTER THIS MUCH. EVER. AND NEVER WILL AGAIN.

I am totally spending the day rewatching all the Dean episodes of Gilmore Girls. *_*! This was also partially prompted by hanging out with sadcypress all day yesterday. I may have gotten irrevocably sucked into "Chicken or Beef?" and there is NO GOING BACK. Also as a result of yesterday, I have an enormous bag of Trolli Brite Crawlers and I will undoubtedly make myself SICK on them because they are SO SO GOOD and I cannot stop eating them.


In other news, I prompted philalethia to write Bela/Tamara, because I love SPN femslash and hardly anyone ever writes it, and that seems like a likely and interesting pairing to me. AND SHE DID. It's in four parts at the bottom there. :D! IT'S BRILLIANT and just perfect. <3.

I was also thinking today about that ridiculously adorable/gorgeous Christmas card that Jared and Sandy sent out a couple years ago, and idly wondering if that was Sandy's doing, or Jared's. And if it was Jared's, or if Jensen is the Christmas card type, then clearly there is going to be a repeat performance including a portrait-studio picture of Jared and Jensen with the dogs this Christmas. oasdigsodign AHAHAHA oh man.

HAHAHA. I am actually working on a 4.01 coda. But I have LESS THAN A DAY TO FINISH IT, since I would want to post it tomorrow so people can actually read it before 4.02. I have no idea if I'll get it done, but hopefully I will, because I actually kind of like it. I SHOULD be writing my remix right now, but I think we are all intimately acquainted with my horrendous procrastination habit by now. :( Someday, it will probably kill me.

( 4.01 spoilery thought! )

Speaking of loving Sam and Dean. IS IT JUST ME, OR IS DEAN FUCKING SMOKING HOT THIS SEASON? (This is not spoilery!) Like. Obviously Jensen has always been gorgeous, but I am a definite Jared-and-Sam girl, and just have a preference for that TYPE over the Jensen-Dean type. In season 3 especially, I think he had an unflattering haircut and was a little. I don't know. There was something about him that was not as ridiculously pretty as the first two seasons. BUT NOW. HOLY SHIT. SEASON FOUR DEAN IS LIKE ROCKING MY WORLD. He has a great haircut, is looking slim and trim and in better shape, and maybe even tanned some more? I DON'T KNOW. THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT HIM. It harkens back to twinky-ridiculously-beautiful season 1 Jensen. Or Dean. Whatever. I mean, I will always love Jared-and-Sam best, because that is just how I roll, but FUCKING A', JENSEN. WAY TO STEP IT UP. *_*! I like to think it's because he lives with Jared now, so he is constantly faced with The Competition. He has to work out five times as hard so he doesn't feel lazy while Jared is pumping iron and hitting the pavement and generally being a hulking manbeast. Extracurricular cardiac workouts also a plus. ;)!

Which segues nicely into some recs!

A Room With You In It, by dontyouwaitup. This is just. Spectacularly perfect J-squared. I cannot even articulate how real and hilarious and awesome this is. It's. IT IS THEM. LIVING AND BREATHING. IN FIC FORM. If you haven't, read it. NOW. The end.

Gag Reel, by poor_choices. SPEAKING OF HILARIOUS. This is so clever and funny and sweet and amazing. <333! I LOVE IT WHEN IT IS NOT HIATUS, BECAUSE THEN WE GET PERFECT RPS CODAS LIKE THIS.

How to sell a guy a house in six weeks, by dijisun. This is apparently old, and I had never seen it! I DO NOT KNOW HOW! It's a really adorable AU where Jared is a realtor and he's trying to sell Jensen-the-movie-director a house. N'aww!

And then there's things hoped for, by oxoniensis, which is probably one of my favourite episode codas of all time. <3333 Oh Sam and Dean. MY HEART ACHES SO HARD FOR THEM, and this was just so beautiful and so EXACTLY what I needed after 4.01.

AND a non-fic rec! "The epic love story of Sam and Dean": Supernatural, queer readings, and the romance of incestuous fan fiction, by Catherine Tosenberger. AMAZING meta essay which is basically just an insanely intelligent and gorgeously thought-out and researched ship manifesto. BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT. Also sdoignsong hee, one of my fics is totally referenced in there. ;)!

Now I should really get cracking on my own fic! osindgosindh PLEASE SEND ME PRODUCTIVE THOUGHTS SO MAYBE I CAN ACTUALLY FINISH BY TOMORROW EVENING KTHX.

Has anyone else watched that BuddyTV video of Jensen's interview? The one where the interviewer asks, "What surprises you most about your fans?" YEAH. THAT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME TO WATCH. D: Like. What a horrifying question. You KNOW Jensen wants to say what's surprising is that we scare the shit out of him and physically attack him and mock him for being retarded and write stories where he gets sexually violated by Jared's dogs and are honestly convinced he and Jared are big gay-married homos. But instead he's like, "What's most surprising is the fans themselves...*BIG HORRIFYINGLY AWKWARD FORCED SMILE* NOT THAT THEY'RE CRAZY OR ANYTHING..." and it like. Seriously made me want to die. :( Poor Jensen. We ARE crazy. And we know you know it. YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT US. Yet he went on to say it's cool that we defy the projected demographic for their show. Sigh. I feel so guilty. Why do some fans have to make it so embarrassing for the rest (I say this knowing full well that I probably embarrass some of you guys, too). :( And/or why does Jensen (or Jensen's management) have to be aware of fandom when really he should be staying as far away from computers as humanly possible. :(

BUT ANYWAY. I AM ALSO VIBRATING WITH UNCONTAINABLE EXCITEMENT. THURSDAY IS SO SOON. HNNNGDJONdlgser. To help it get here faster, have a jillion recs:

First of all, girlmostlikely is having a genius hurt/comfort comment fic meme, and you should all go play there!

I wrote a little something for it right here. And don't forget the morning after!

Kind of similarly, philalethia did a bunch more comment fic prompts since the last time I linked to her post:

Jared/Jensen domestic schmoop
Future Sam/Dean and the Viagra-fueled sequel. (WHICH IS STUPIDLY, STUPIDLY HOT.)
Heartbreaking post-Dean-going-to-Hell Sam and also Jo being awesome
Schmoopy pre-Stanford Sam/Dean

ALL AMAZING. SHE IS ONE OF MY FAVE AUTHORS. I WILL PIMP FOREVER IF NECESSARY. She also did a Ginger Snaps snippet, but I think a grand total of like two people on my flist have ever even heard of it. HAS ANYONE SEEN GINGER SNAPS? If not, you should. AVA! AS A WEREWOLF! WITH REALLY AMAZINGLY INCESTY SISTER VIBES!

Okay, so now another pile of Sam/Dean recs (and a gen or two)! (I am going to ETA an lj-cut because IT IS A LOT OF RECS.)

( SPN fics galore! )

SO ANYWAY. Those are my recently-reads. OH MAN I have been like, drowning myself in Sam/Dean lately after a summer full of mostly J-squared. I MISSED YOU, SPN.

I was going to talk about that omnipresent 30-questions meme, but I totally cheated and got the questions without doing it myself, so I would feel lame. ;)! LET IT JUST BE KNOWN THAT YOU ARE ALL HILARIOUS.


Totally unrelated to anything, I HAVE A V. IMPORTANT POLL I WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO DO. I am going to make the results SUPER SECRET so if you're ashamed of your flossing habits, no one will know!

Poll #1260128 DENTAL HYGIENE
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 88

Do you dental floss frequently?

Comments? Clarifications?